Monday 21 November 2005

Listen to your heart

In the last few weeks that we have been here, I have noticed that people here embrace a different belief from what we have back home.

I mean, Paris is like Singapore in that we are both small cities filled with people rushing about work and home, buying groceries after work or hanging out at bars and coffee places with friends during weekends. And everyone seems so busy, so much so that with the exception of tourists, every other person has the same spaced out look in the metro/mrt.

But 2 weeks after we arrived, I saw a girl crying in the metro. And she wasn't crying and wiping her tears away like she had a bad day at work. She was crying with her eye make-up running, her face was wet with her tears like she just broke up with the man she was to marry or was told she has 2 days left to live kind of heartbreaking crying.

And no one stared at her. They glance but they don't seem to think it abnormal.

I would have thought that that was because people around did not want to further embarrass her, like how we would turn and pretend the girl did not exist, had this incident been on the mrt in Singapore. But interestingly enough, 2 days later, I saw another girl, crying... no, sobbing her heart out with a friend on the street.

And a week later, another one crying as she walked into the train. And another 2 weeks later, another running across the platform, greeting her friend in sobs and tears.

I think in this part of town, being in emotional need is accepted as a real and necessary part of life. The downs of life are also the highlights. The low points in life are also that which we want to savor. This is all part of life.

For me, at least, this is an eye-opener. I must confess that I am terrible with handling emotions. I don't remember the last time I cried in public. I must have been like 8?

But here, people listen to their hearts. And they let it come out. In the metro. On the street. Or wherever and whenever their hearts need to speak.

Jo

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

being a guy doesn't help much either... in singapore... men don't cry... we've managed to grow up hiding these emotions deep inside and even if they threaten to surface, we suppress them... can a Singaporean man be passionate? i'm not sure... its like this callouse on my heartstrings... you tell yourself, "don't get affected, don't show weakness... don't let people take advantage of this sign of weakness..."

it hampers relationships with our spouses... especially when they need it most... we seem aloof and insensitive... but part of us wants to cry too... and embrace our hurting loved ones... but we stop and say... "i cannot... i must not show this kind of behaviour..."

Nathan now says, "yuck!" when i kiss him on the cheek... now how did THAT come about?

...

Heng said...

Thanks for sharing this. This is important to me.

I'm listening. And even though it hurts like hell, I am still listening.