When faith eludes me
Yesterday, I went home and saw my mommy walking without a walker, eating at the dining table and leaning over the fridge door to see what the newly hired maid could possibly cook for the next meal. And deep in my heart, I thank God for this miracle that I see before me - I thank Him because when I got that call in the middle of the night in our little paris appartment, my faith was nowhere to be found and I could not find it in me to believe that God would save or even heal my mom.
So to all of you who trusted God and believed when we could not - a million times "thank you".
Kar Wai and I leave next Sunday for Paris once again. I am not sure how this trip will turn out, or what it will bring. Life has been such a roller coaster ride in the last 2 years, the hills in the track just get steeper and steeper. I try not to think of it all as a divine plan to "grow" us coz that would only make me turn to God and demand that the rides stop. Yet, there does not seem to be any other explanation for the fact that no matter bad things become, they never go out of control - the roller coaster stays on the track and we remain buckled in our seats (screaming and hanging on for our dear lives, of course).
Till the next hill (please let it be a tiny one).
Jo
3 comments:
yes. the roller coaster rides are daunting... just when you thought you've levelled out, you hit the next sharp dip... and yes, we do want to turn to Him and say..."can we get off now please?"... i dunno... sometimes yelling helps relieve the fear and doubt.. albeit temporarily... but He always delivers, in His own way, each time reminding us of who we are and who He is.. take heart... you are not alone...
Hey, it's all about being in the family of Christ. We are propped up by the faith of others. Your own faith has been a pillar to others as well...
Praise God.
You know, when we ask Him for strength, he gives us roller coasters to make us stronger. Often we think that when we ask for strength, he gives us strength on a silver platter. Indeed he blesses us abundantly but be rest assured that God just wants us to turn to Him in times of struggles and take heart, He is in control and the roller coasters are never too much for us to handle. remember whenever we try to be in control too much, we got to Let go and Let God.
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